Kagome's Score of Wits
by xEvermoreRealityx
Summary: Summery: Kagome has had the hots for Naraku for weeks now. Ever since their eyes met that fateful day, she was hooked. See what she'll do about it. Do not read if you are a Kikyou and Inuyasha fan. Crack Fic KagomexNaraku Oneshot
1. Chapter 1

**Kagome's Score of Wits**

Summery: Kagome has had the hots for Naraku for weeks now. Ever since their eyes met that fateful day, she was hooked. See what she'll do about it. Do not read if you are a Kikyou and Inuyasha fan.

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I owned the delicious and wonderful Hanyou Naraku I do not. (Naraku: O.o?) Nor any other of the characters...*sigh*

Warnings: Read at your own risk of sanity. This was written in the dead of New Year's night.

Kikyou...yeah. I hate her. So don't read if you are fond of her. I like humiliating her in fanfics... (Kikyou: *glares*)

This is NOT an InuYasha-runs-off-to-Kikkyo-so-Kagome-runs-away-in-despair story. I'm sick of that plot line.

Slight OOC... Actually lots of OOC. You have been warned.

_**xEvermoreRealityx**_

**Week Three**

Three weeks since I have last seen my man-candy. THREE. And it was driving me insane.

"Wench,"

"Dog,"

"Wretch"

"Mutt"

"SLUT!"

"SIT!"

SLAM!

Sango sighed as Inuyasha and my argument ended rather violently when I yelled that cursed word. Miroku chuckled. This was probably the thousandth time the same argument had happened within the hour. It was a miracle/curse, really, that Inuyasha was still conscious. But I had a way of changing that if he didn't learn to shut his mouth.

Hands one my hips in victory, I turned away from the fallen hanyou with a smirk. **'Serves you right, bastard,' **I thought to myself. He's been pushing my buttons all morning.

Point one for me, the Miko. Point zero for the idiot on the ground. First one to get five points wins.

_-Flashback_

_"Hey, Kagome!"_

_I glanced up from my place in the hot springs to see a fuming Inuyasha. Raising an eyebrow, I debated on whether or not I should tell him off for interrupting my few moments of silence._

_"Stop wasting my jewel shard collecting time, and get out already!" he snapped, reaching out for my arm to pull me out of the relaxing water._

_Gritting my teeth, I zapped him with a bolt of purifying energy. _

Point two for the Miko. Zero for the hanyou.

_"Don't talk about me wasting time. You stop our journey early every other day so you can go find that one DEAD and made out of DIRT, UNCLEAN, SLUTTISH, woman-creature. What was her name again? I think it rhymes with WHORE,"_

_I really had nothing against Kikyou. No, really. Stop laughing. She was actually a big help while training my Miko energy and ended up in teaching me a lot. I just liked insulting her because it struck a nerve with Inuyasha, and Kikyou respected that, because I never meant it personally. Mostly..._

_"How DARE you! I'm glad we only have three shards left! Then, I can leave you forever!" he yelled and stormed away._

_Poor thing. He didn't stand a chance. Not since I recently found some new eye-candy. And quite a piece of candy he was, considering he was my supposed arch enemy. It gave me chills of excitement just thinking about him._

_"Hurry up wench!" Inuyasha called. I sighed. Well, if he wasn't going to let me enjoy these few precious moments, I certainly wasn't going to let him enjoy his day. No sir, not one bit. _

_-End flashback (AN: I hate that phrase, I wish there was another way of putting that...)_

_-End reminiscence (AN: Hm, That works...)_

Oh, yes. My plan on making his day a living heck was going perfectly. Now, you may think that because I am putting up such an effort for this one boy is because I secretly harbor feelings for him. That is not the case.

No, those felling evaporated a while back when I started actually flirting with Kouga and Sesshomaru. (AN: *GASP* Sesshomaru flirts?) And when we last spotted Naraku, I couldn't stop giving him those hey-I'm-interested-in-you glances. I think he caught on when instead of charging at him along with my friends, I just stood there giving him suggestive leers. WHICH- he returned openly and said 'You should keep a tighter leash on that Miko of yours, Inuyasha. I might end up taking her instead of the Shikon. That had made me almost squeal and rape him right there.

Point two for the Miko, Point for the hanyou (Naraku, not Inuyasha, you idiots).

I couldn't wait to see him again. It was making me anxious and excited. I couldn't hold it in on some occasions and would end up bursting into little fits of giggles, causing everyone to stare.

"Kagome," Sango said, placing a hand over mine, that night while we were all circled by the fire, "It seems as if something has been on your mind recently,"

**'Oh, it's nothing. It's just that I haven't seen Naraku in a few weeks and I'm sexually frustrated and can't wait to see him. Nothing at all.'**

"Oh, it's nothing. Just got a big test in school coming up," I replied, almost giggling at the thrill of lying to my best friend's face.

Dang, what kind of friend AM I? Sango studied my face for a while before coming to the conclusion that even if I weren't telling the truth, then I had a good reason not to. Or maybe she was just debating on whether on not I was crazy.

"You can go back through the well if you like. We can wait to find the Shikon No Tama-"

"NO!" I shouted before I could stop myself.

Sango seemed alarmed and I had to think of an excuse frantically.

"It's just... If I have to listen to Inuyasha complain again, I'm gonna blow up,"

Point three for the Miko. Zero for Sango. I liked my score of wits.

"I guess that makes sense..." Sango said, shooting Inuyasha an almost dirty glare.

**Week Four**

Is this a joke? Not ONLY have I gone four weeks without seeing Naraku, I started dreaming about him!

Augh. Point two for him. We're tied!

I ALSO haven't gone home in two MONTHS. Not that I minded, really. My mom now worked all the time, Grandpa had died [insert tears], and Souta had a high school life now. I was now a woman of 21 without a complete education having dropped out of school to continue my quest. I would end up on the streets if I tried to go back now. The only thing I bothered to do was drop a letter in the well with a strand of my hair to let Mom know I wasn't dead yet. Plus, I planned on sealing the well when the Shikon got completed anyways.

I sighed and dragged behind the group with Shippo in my arms. Even though he wasn't as small as he used to be, I viewed him as my own pup and treated him as such.

"Kagome, you're dragging!"

"Inuyasha, you're TALKING," I snapped back.

Point three for Miko. Zero points for Idiot.

Kikyou chuckled lightly and smiled at me. She had asked us if we could travel with us a few days ago. I was fine with it as long as I didn't hear her in the middle of the night. Talk about DISTURBING. Dirt should not make noises.

Inuyasha grumbled a few minutes before his ears perked up.

"I smell Naraku!"

I couldn't help it. I really couldn't.

"YES! FINALLY!" I screeched punching into the air, jostling a poor Shippo. Okay, maybe I could have stopped that from happening.

Point deduction for complete lack of intelligence. Point two for Miko. Point two for the sexy man-beast now appearing out of the trees. Zero for everyone else. Negative one for Kikyou because I can.

"Excited to see me, Dear?" Naraku practically purred. Inuyasha growled, but I ignored him.

"Very,"

"Good,"

Augh. Curse his delicious voice.

Point three for Naraku. Point two for Miko. What the heck?

"I would like the Shikon, Kagome-chan," he dared.

I seriously considered giving it to him. But then, I realized that it was unlikely that he would be so gratified as to sweep me up in his arms and carry me away to ravish me until all of my skin falls off. I had to whip HIM. Not the other way around.

So, no point for the drop dead gorgeous hanyou.

"I'm sorry. But my favors don't come for free Naraku-kun," I replied in a silky tone. Inuyasha jaw dropped. He probably thought I was crazy, insane, and had a death wish. My answer: True that.

Point Three for the Miko. Point three for the molest-worthy man. Point zero for everyone else. Negative five for Kikyou for looking at me and breathing.

Okay, maybe I did have something against her. Like, making me look like a second-rate Miko and trying to take my best friend-ish to hell with her. And for her information, my Miko skills have surpassed hers! Screw you, SLUT!

Anyways...

"It appears Inuyasha didn't take my advise about the leash," he commented, taking a bold step forwards. 'Don't think I won't rape you right here...' I thought to myself.

"Onigumo," an unwanted voice interrupted.

Curse you, Kikyou! Negative two thousand points!

I turned to her angrily and glared. Naraku chuckled darkly and it sent the good kind of chills down my back.

I was fighting a loosing battle.

Point four for his chuckle. Point three for loosing Miko.

If he reached five before I did, there was no way I was going to let him have his way with me. Okay, I would let him, but not before giving him a really hard time before hand.

"That portion that used to take up my heart still lives. But it is no longer interested in you, my poor dead Miko," he said. Kikyou raised an eyebrow.

"Oh? And what LUCKY creature has caught your interests?" she asked.

"A certain... unleashed Miko,"

I seriously considered tackling him and make him bend to my every will that very second. Instead, I just smirked and made a suggestive face towards him. Inuyasha made a gagging noise while Miroku ran up to me and grasped my hands in his.

"Kagome-chan! Give into your desires! Don't worry about the fact I will be watching every-"

WHACK

"Thank you, Sango-chan," I said. She grinned at me and winked.

"School test, hm? This is one strange test," she said knowingly sarcastic. Dang.

Point one for Sango.

"I can't BELIEVE this! What could you POSSIBLY see in that...that THING?" Inuyasha screeched.

Negative a million points!

How DARE you doubt the wonderful beauty of Naraku!

I just walked over to Naraku and leaned into his ear, brushing his black silky hair. I caught his shiver out of the corner of my eye. Ha, take that you delicious looking hanyou!

Point four for Miko. Point four for Naraku.

"Wanna know why I don't have a leash?" I asked.

"Do tell," he answered, wrapping an arm around my waist.

"I prefer chains and handcuffs,"

Point five for the Miko. Score, I win!

"I do believe I have those, dearest," he purred pulling me closer. AUGH!

Point five for Naraku. We're tied...


	2. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

Hello my dear readers! I am here today to post my response to some of the rudeness I have received here over fanfiction.

Regarding some reviews I have received for my fanfictions. I appreciate every single one of them. I however am NOT pleased at the way some people have responded there are two in particular that really stick out as idiotic to me. Since fanfiction would not let me reply to them I shall reply here.

In response to my story Family is What Matters I received this review:

_Brown Eyed Bandit_

_"You are more about friends, trust and kindliness." Spare me the virtues of  
Saint __Melrose__ because the more I read of this fic, the more I'm inclined to  
think the opposite. Keep your characters IN CHARACTER, if they are not a good  
person, have them own it. Don't let them delude themselves into thinking  
otherwise._

I don't really understand what you mean. How is my character not in character? She is in fact mine, She came from MY mind. So how would you know if my character was not in character? That's right you wouldn't. I like receiving tips from my readers. I do not however like being told that I am writing about someone that I made up, wrong.

The next review was a response to my story Kagome's Score of Wits:

_Maki Hatayama_

_You spent way too much time with points, and Kikyou hating._

While I am not fond of Kikyou, myself, I read stories about NarakuXKagome for  
the NarakuXKagome.

I couldn't really figure out where they were, and most of them were rather out  
of character. Naraku was okay, I guess.

So, basically, go back, re-read, and revise this story. Big time.

First off this was a CRACK-FIC! It isn't supposed to make sense! They were meant to be out of character. And lastly the points were the whole POINT of the story. Also I don't need YOU telling ME how to write MY fanfiction. I like it how it is so I will not got back, re-read, and revise MY story.

Sorry to have bored you everyone! I love you! Bye-bi!


End file.
